ESKITX.COM
HOME
CD DETAILS
WHERE TO BUY
AUDIO CLIPS
PERFORMANCE VIDEO
LYRICS (EXCERPTS)
REVIEWS
ESSAY:
POLITIAL SONGWRITING
MERCHANDISE
POEMS
WORDS TO REMEMBER
HOW TO GET AN INTERVIEW
CONTACT ESKIT

LYRICS (EXCERPTS)

1. I’m Just A People
“A fish got a worm and a horse got hay.
You and I got tooth decay.
But beavers never get that way
And you won’t find a cavity in a clam.”

2. Minnesota Vikings
I like em so ‘cause all da time dey vin.
(Vell maybe not all da time but now and den).

3. David Letterman
David Letterman is a punk.
He has a TV show.
And even though it’s mostly junk
It keeps you in the know.

4. Randy Jackson
Yo dawg! Wassup with Randy?
Check it out, check it out: fine and dandy.
Got it together (hot dog, fashizzle)
And he makes it Ssssssss! And he makes it sizzle.

5. Simon Cowell
Oh Simon – show a little mercy.
Oh Simon – don’t be rude.
Oh Simon – try to be a good boy –
Try to control your attitude.

6. Paula Abdul
Everybody loves Paula.
Paula, she’s one of a kind.
She can laugh - she can grieve -
Wears her heart on her sleeve –
But nobody seems to mind.

7. Ryan Seacrest
He’s a rough, tough desperado emcee -
Joking and jiving
And just as conniving
As he can be.
He’s the big bad daddy of tyranny –
That’s Ryan Seacrest, Idol Emcee.

8. Mosquito Song
The mosquitoes are back with a bzzz and a buzz
And that buzz is as bad as a buzz ever was.
But that buzz can be beaten
(It’s eat or be eaten):
Have a mosquito for lunch.

9. Black Sheep
He’s the black sheep of the Bible college.
He’s a lookin’ for love, he’s a-lookin’ for knowledge
And he flies too high, thinks too deep:
He’s the black sheep of the Bible college.

10. Oprah
The crowd at her show would all be at her feet.
She’d speak words of wisdom you’d want to repeat.
The band would begin with a one, two, and-a one-two-three
Then Oprah, she’d stand up, and she’d dance with me.

11. Jerry Springer
If you let me on your show, I’ll be a twit – pitch a fit – jump up in the air.
I’ll make a fuss and I will cuss and I will throw a chair.
And when I throw a chair
I swear (I swear) – I swear (I swear)
I’ll try to hit somebody in the head. Ha Ha Ha.
Ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha.

12. Waterbugs
Here come the waterbugs (well what do you know)
Come-from-the-gutter bugs (tippy-tippy-tip-toe).
They’re checking to see if it’s only me
‘Cause if it’s just me it’s OK (I can stay!).
I know where they live, but I’ll never give
A waterbug secret away.
Tippy-tippy-tip-toe.
Well what do you know.

13. Frog Song
Sittin’ in the sun, sittin’ on a log -
Life is sweet if you’re a frog –
Talkin’ that frog dialogue –
Happy to be alive.

14. Mouse Song
“But then a neighbor heard (it disturbed his silly nap)
And he was ever so angry (and he set a great big trap).
So I sneaked around to every room and whispered, terrified:
‘Now listen to me, Horace. You be careful. Stay inside.”

15. Anna Nicole Smith
You could have been average, you could have been normal
You could have been boring and never been you.
But you got off your butt
And you did God knows what
And you made your dreams come true.
Didn’t you?

16. If Only
If only my birthplace was elsewhere
I might speak Portugese with great skill.
I’d dance in the street, I’d have bare naked feet
And I’d wake up each day in Brazil.

17. Rosie O’Donnell
Ring around the Rosie
Comfy and cozy
Rosie, Rosie – weave a spell.
Give ‘em the what-for, why-for, wherefore:
That’s what you’re there for -
Give ‘em hell!

18. Donald Trump
Donald Trump is the leader of the pack
He’s the top dog, big boss, lord of all.
When the road gets rough, he don’t turn back –
He just inhales a Tylenol.

19. Earth People
Earth people!
Runnin’ around, invadin’ other nations.
Earth People!
Droppin’ bombs and layin’ mines and makin’ depredations.
Earth People!
Drivin’ in your SUVs - do what you please –
Burnin’ up your future and the future of your children.

20. Rhododendron Poppy
In the spring the robins sing
There’s music all around
The sound of every living thing
Proclaims ‘I love you’.
Rainbow flowers dance
Upon the sunny meadow ground
As the poppies and the rhododendrons
Bring a mem’ry of you.

21. Spring Fever
The rabbits are a-rompin’ and the woodchuck’s chompin’
With a chew-chomp-chew-chomp-chew.
The cricket in the thicket is a-tellin’ you to stick it
If you don’t like what he do.
The calf is at the udder, it’s the udder of the mudder
And the mudder goes ‘Moo-Moo’.
The robin sings of happy things.
…… And so should you.

22. Hymn To Jesus
But Jesus is still in the White House
In a tomb in the room where the shredder is kept.
But someday he’ll be free, and the people will see
How they used Him, abused Him, and how Jesus wept.