Eskit is proud to announce his new selection of political merchandise. Please- no haggling! Prices are firm. You are welcome to advertise your own rare finds in this section, but be advised that nothing under $10,000 will be listed.
[click here to send a description of your priceless memorabilia]
There will be no charge for the display of items that meet Eskit's impeccable standards.
1. THE G.W. BUSH COLLECTOR'S LIMOUSINE - A pink Cadillac with super-size horn. For safety reasons, the engine has been removed. It looks good and makes a lot of noise, but there's nothing under the hood. $6,000,000
2. THE JOHN ASHCROFT TIT COVER -Something special for you ladies.Wear it like a toga and, with the aid of special effects technology, your boobs will go away.
3. THE NORM COLEMAN MAGIC MIRROR - Good for admiring yourself day in and day out. Special price due to subsidies from Enron, military contractors, and numerous pharmaceutical companies.
$1 (while supplies last)
4. JESSE WETSY - A Jesse Ventura doll. Criticize him and he pees his pants. After each criticism, must be filled with water. In order to ensure enough water, the doll comes with a deed to Lake Superior. $180,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
5. THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY CAMOUFLAGE KIT* - A stylish wardrobe that makes it look like you want to go to war as much as the next guy. One size fits all. Comes with two years supply of tape to put over your mouth. $10,000
* Does not fit those distinguished members of Congress who voted against the Georgie
Bush/Colin Powell Invasion of Iraq.